I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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