So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
