Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
