i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
