he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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