I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
