hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
