Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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