Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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