Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
we're making bets on your personal life
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
