what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
