the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
