Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
