we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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