She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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