So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
