So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
