im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He better not be in your backpack
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
