3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
