People in love make me want to vomit
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
