He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
