I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
