Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
