please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
