I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
