before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
