i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
my shit smells like andre
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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