Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
40s are totally the cure
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
