I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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