i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
