why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
