waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
