i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
