Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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