It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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