Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
