The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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