we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
