You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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