The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
