he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize