I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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