She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize