sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
