Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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