He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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