I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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