I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I would fuck him just for his dog
that is very illegal...i love you.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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