So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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