The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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