fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
