i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
