May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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