when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
