My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
only if we run a train.
done.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
