Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
