Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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