what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
