Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
