she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
