I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
