I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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