I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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